Before Last May

Dering telefonku membuatku tersenyum di pagi hari

Ringing of my phone, make me smile in the morning

Kau bercerita semalam kita bertemu dalam mimpi

You told me  we met in a dream last night

Entah mengapa aku merasakan hadirmu di sini

Somehow I feel you are present here

Tawa candamu menghibur saatku sendiri

Your jokes n your laugh, entertaining as I felt alone

Aku di sini dan kau di sana

I'm here and you're there

Hanya berjumpa via suara

Only met via voice

Namun ku slalu menunggu saat kita akan berjumpa

But I was always waiting when we will meet

Meski kau kini jauh di sana

Although you are now far away

Kita memandang langit yang sama

We look at the same sky

Jauh di mata namun dekat di hati

Out of sight, but close at heart

Dering telefonku membuatku tersenyum di pagi hari

Ringing of my phone, make me smile in the morning

Tawa candamu menghibur saatku sendiri

Your jokes n your laugh, entertaining as I felt alone

Aku di sini dan kau di sana

I'm here and you're there

Hanya berjumpa via suara

Only met via voice

Namun ku slalu menunggu saat kita akan berjumpa

But I was always waiting when we will meet

Meski kau kini jauh di sana

Although you are now far away

Kita memandang langit yang sama

We look at the same sky

Jauh di mata namun dekat di hati

Out of sight, but close at heart

Aku di sini dan kau di sana

I'm here and you're there

Hanya berjumpa via suara

Only met via voice

Namun ku slalu menunggu saat kita akan berjumpa

But I was always waiting when we will meet

Meski kau kini jauh di sana

Although you are now far away

Kita memandang langit yang sama

We look at the same sky

Jauh di mata namun dekat di hati

Out of sight, but close at heart

Jarak dan waktu takkan berarti

Distance and time will not mean

Karena kau akan selalu di hati

Because you will always be in the hearts

Bagai detak jantung yang kubawa kemanapun kupergi

Like a heartbeat that I carried everywhere i go

Meski kau kini jauh di sana

Although you are now far away

Kita memandang langit yang sama

We look at the same sky

Jauh di mata namun dekat di hati

Out of sight but close at heart

dekat di hati

close at heart

dekat di hati

close at heart

All Abaut 1st

Suddenly I remembered him, a figure that ever made me fall in love and make me cry, do not eat for a week. Do not think he's handsome, cool, rich, or thing that leads to perfect plus there on him. As I recall, he was black, tall, unfriendly, and seemed not care. His eye is sharp, his words very neat . His movement, so maintain decorum. Rarely said sweet for me. But that makes me wonder, his attitude really makes me impressed (perhaps more precisely is fascinated).

At that time, he spent time in Semarang. I'm in Kudus.

The first date he invited to watch "30 HARI MENCARI CINTA atau ADA APA DENGAN CINTA".  I forgot, it was long, it was 2001. A bit of chatting in Lambada cafe (now closed).

Then, everytime i go to Kudus, I always took the time to see the cafe. although in each corner decorated with cobwebs, but the memories are still very clear in my mind.

Walking with holding my hands , at that time, my hand was very small.

Silently exchanged glances when meeting a teenager. Smile sign shy to admit that we are in love. Hey he was a university student, I still use a blue skirt (junior high school).

Ridiculous .... memories for the sake of memories flashed. And the most memorable was when I was the final project of the school, to graduation, the night he set out from Semarang to Kudus to help me do the work.

Actually he is my first love.

He never said that I was not his first love, (I know, it is a lie when he said m his first love). But I was most dominate his lover. In fact, he called me "Little Fairy Angel" .. how not bloom this heart.
Hehe smile again ...

In 2006, I went to see him. At that moment I heard he had engaged. Hahaha hell out of me feels ... want cry, want laugh...

Until he was worried I could depression, then passing a sane size limit. He said he was forced to marry her. Hahaha old reasons.

Alright

Until the miracle appeared, 2009 in FB we met again, and more miraculous, he wanted me back to him... Too late really ya ....

has numbness and pain.

He was first of all.

First love, my1st kiz, the person who first made me heartbroken, the person who first made me can not eat and sleep, and the person who first made me weak.

He's not entirely evil and not fully he makes me sick.

One I also, when he needs a wife, I'm not ready for marriage.

One I, too, have not been able to fulfill what a man needs.

I was not aware, he is a grown man, not a boy teenager who just wants courtship

Ridiculous, every time I remember, I wanted to laugh, then I wonder, what make her better than me ..

He replied, his future wife can fill material, if physically superior to me. But for mental readiness, certainly when his future wife was more prepared than I was then only 17 years old.

Overnight in Nganjuk, frothy and bubbly he said sweet things to entertain my disappointment. Kudus to Blitar, which should 12hours, being 2 days, 2 nights. It's always reassuring words to me.

And he has never lied to me before .....


Amazement, when he invited me to compose a love again.

Why invite me back when in falling positions ??


Make me laugh, when his wife asked, he would reply that I was his past.

But if seduce, he said "Inok very meaningful for mas. Our future my dream"

Hahaha .. ... Ahmad S * Kresno is his name ,,,, until whenever will be myMAMAT,


His name leaves a bad impression on my heart, but the trail of sweet memories in the sense of dreams.



(All Abt my1st)

BUT ALWAYS

I see you in a very crowded a crossroads. Yes you also see me. But you just furrowed brow. You are not convinced by what you see. Your eyes blink few times. To convince yourself. And I waved my hand, but you just looked over to the right and to the left, see who replied, waving my hand.
Hey, you have not really aware, this is me. I just smiled at you. Then I left the place I stand. I go back to the hotel room is rather good. Think about what you're thinking.

On the second day,
I stand in the same place. Waiting for you passing a very crowded a crossroads. With your beloved motorcycle. You use a striped blue shirt that I do not like it. Then you glanced at me again. And you do not believe your eyes. You still think that it is just imagination.
I'm still smiling, looking at you. I do not expect more than a smile on your lips.
But this time you are not alone. There's someone behind you. But that someone just looked straight ahead. I'm not surprised, that my smile do not fade.
This time you do not stop. You run until I can not see you anymore.

This is the third day,
I am waiting for you here. Standing in a crowded crossroads. Two hours I'm here, and you have not passed. Waiting while drinking Masala Chai. I heard it was a special drink here. Sweet enough, even if only very little sugar. You and I same, not really like sweet. 

Almost I was tired, and the glass is almost empty. You have not been seen. And I take a mineral water from the my backpack.
 

I asked myself, "Do you recognize me? Then you avoid me?" , But I'm very sure that, you're not people who like that. I still believe, you will soon embrace me when you realized I was near you. But why do not immediately appear, like yesterday? Where are you? What are you doing? With whom? Why so long? I was almost tired.
I just imagine you recognize me. Then smile and say that you really miss me.

Feeling alone amid the crowd. Look to the right and to the left, but do not you come . In the crowd of people are speak a language which is not I understand. Little boy running to follow his parents, laughing with his sister and his cousin. Not handsome, but sweet, looking smart and polite.

I've spent 30 minutes after 2 hours it. Why did not like yesterday.

But I have always believed, that magic exists. And the miracle came. 

I believe it. When you say that, you're always there when I need you. 

You whispered that sentence, my ears. The most beautiful melodies.
Why so long for you to realize that I'm here? 

Always late.
And as always, you always said "yeah,"
But as always, I smile silly.
And as always, again, we are back kidding. Until moonlight comes.

A beautiful day. Not today, but time, minutes and seconds are beautiful.
Ya, as always, you're like a rainbow.

BUT ALWAYS , its just in my dream

Our world are different

You're always in my heart, cant be approach, our world are different

Love is blind and can also be blinding
hurt and it was hard to forget
I love you just the expression
means any expression that is rarely spoken

It's also a love story of the poet , but not arjuna and sita
not cinta and rangga
Or poetic proposal, with a  beautiful

You're always in my heart, cant approach
there is always an evil eye watching
But do not worry it is not possible miss
by dizziness see your face in every corner

A smile on your page story
Our struggle is the same sorrow I feel for you
I gave it to the One
For me know
Our world are differnt

You're always in my heart, cant approach, Our world are different

Like at night dreaming
Love in times of day across
True love never changes no later
although separated swimmable ocean turbulence

And sometimes drift like figs
shame often met but rarely speak out
Why love if ultimately surrender
Because when covers unspeakable beauty

Saved passionate nobody understands
Hopes to end awaited
Keep hold of the promise of the queen of hearts
With God's permission, right along at the exact

Patience tested wait
Prayed in prostration prayer mats mourned
I gave it to the One
Two world because I know we are different

You're always in my heart, cant approach  ,Our world are differnt

Endless struggle of our art
Do not stay stone named not-trafficked

Stabbing challenge, you never brood
Keep smiling despite the sadness masked
Your appearance is not so size
Or voice is so speech
I do not want a relationship but honesty
Your gift of a word of thanks

But if the eye does not spread the word
but also about what
Sweet beautiful your face again
As surely as the sun smiles every morning east

Reality formidable
But the end must start with beautiful fantasy
I think want, between two worlds
Let my imagination fly

Indonesian Woman

Happy Kartini day for Indonesian woman.
Kartini not fought for women be higher than men. Kartini fought for equality. Being an educated woman, intelligent and independent. But do not forget the nature of women. Indonesian woman who prioritizes modesty, humility, flexible, yet still have principles. 

Indonesian women, Happy Kartini day.
For women, success is not just when we sit in the director's position, using the Prada, Gucci or simply Elizabeth. Success is not only when we use neat blazer with high heels. Success is not only measured by when we are fluent in foreign languages. Or when we glamor in front of the camera. 
We also have other obligations.....
As daughter, we should be subject and obedient to our parents. As a wife, a woman should make happy her husband, and as a mother, a woman should be able to raise, educate and direct their children.
Not an easy thing. But not difficult if we tried. Indonesian women, we are kartini in this era. We have our way to becoming kartini. Because we are Indonesian women.

To The Person Who Is Being Broken Heart

To someone who are broken heart,

Allow yourself to grieve. Many people have a strange view of sad. As if grief is taboo. As if you should be laughing, having bad things happen. But not. Like rain on the edge of twilight, you should let it mellow there. Each death need lament. Similarly, love, who has died. Then do what people broken heart, do. Cry until you can not hear yourself, eat chocolate just as much, bath with hot water, until the nails, pale. Go to the cafe with a swollen eye. Order a glass of sweet iced tea, because coffee is too bitter in that situation. Let yourself grieve, cry as if it was the last time you were let down by someone. Cry if you forgot how to hope.

To someone who are broken heart,

When you get tired of sad, this is the time for you, raised yourself again. Starting from easy. You can start taking guitar, then take a cheerful major scale. Take the piano, and play a beautiful sonnet. Or if you can not play the music, you can look at yourself in the mirror. Then humming. Then between the tones, whispering 

"I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY" to yourself.

To someone who are broken heart,

There is always a friend who accompanied. Go meet your friends, laugh until forget about time. Ask your other friends news, tell your success on what you like. And if possible, hang out until you were expelled because of the cafe will be closed. 

Indeed, the memory of those who make a broken heart is hard to forget. Place that you both go will not be the same. But just believe, all will pass. Just like anything else in the world. Bad things were about to leave. Rain will be replaced with the blue sky. Dark light will be replaced. And the wound will be replaced with a thin smile on your lips.

To someone who are broken heart,

be patient. Because there is little light in every dark. Because in every pain, there is a lesson. Because you deserve to be happy again.

note:thx kak Raditya Dika

Sun n Moon

That dream was very scary ...
want to cry,
Very painful when it happens. Knowing our loved ones pain, but we are not allowed to look. More painful than seeing him standing with another woman. As there is a gaping hole in the heart. More painful than when we are sick.
I would be happy to see you  with another woman, laughing with your children in the park, a walk with a pet, rather than see you sick. I am scared. I do not want  like that.
I wish we were met with a good situation. Smiled at each other, and talk about fun things.
I'm afraid if my dream come true.
I do not know what to do if it happens. Very scary.
I definitely just like a mad, looking at the wall, do not know what I'm talking about.
maybe I'll need another psychologist or psychiatrist. It may be difficult to restore my mind to reality. I do not want. I just wanted to see you smile, not like in my dream.
Dreams are only a few hours, it makes me scared all day.

I do not want any bad news from you. I just wish all the happiness is always with you, wherever you are. I will share the happiness.
As long as we are under the same sky, I'm sure we will feel the same. 
Miss you in silence, like the moon would like to see the sun.
Love you in silence, as the sun shares rays on moon. Support you in silence, like the moon deflect sunlight.

They were wonderful